Did you know that the guy who wrote The Piña Colada Song is also a best-selling author? Well, me neither, until I happened to pick up Rupert Holmes’ book in a Barnes & Noble, lured in by the shiny and intricately detailed cover of “Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide” (2023). This guy clearly has thematic range.
I hope you have enough faith in my morals to know that I wouldn’t be interested in a real murder manual. Also, I like my boss. But, have enough trust in my taste in literature to let me recommend this delightfully comedic thriller about three protagonists who are actually trying their very best to adhere to a homicidal handbook.
Unfortunately, you can’t use the Common App to apply to the McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts. The highly secretive “finishing school for finishing people off” solely accepts those with a dilemma that can only be solved with a murder – sorry, “deletion” – involved.
Set in the 1950s, engineer Cliff Iverson, nurse Gemma Lindley and actress Duclie Mown all have one thing in common: they have a terrible, tyrannical boss who is hurting them and others. The only solution in their positions? It’s one that McMasters is eager to train them for. Students of the Applied Arts dedicate their studies to the completion of their “thesis” – the deletion of their target – to graduate.
Here’s the catch: if a student fails their thesis, they face deletion themselves. It’s almost as intense as an honors thesis defense!
Graduation mustn’t be easy, of course, and the book does not hold back its curveball twists around every page and dark corner.
Alongside a memorable and high-stakes plot, Holmes employs a tactful use of humor – a glorious blend of wordplay, irony and wit – that places this novel among my favorite literary comedies.
“I’m afraid I was buried in thought,” a receptionist tells Mown in apology for keeping her waiting.
“Yes, and I’m sure it was a shallow grave,” the actress replies.
I also found great joy in the comedic use of the school’s filtered administrative jargon – that’s something I can relate to.
The book’s protagonists may all be adults (real adults), but it is still fun to draw parallels between the liberal arts college experience and that of a somewhat more macabre alma mater. They don’t offer “Poison and Panaceas” or “Eroticide” at Lafayette, though.
Holmes capitalizes on his premise and humor; his characters are equally as compelling as the other aspects of the novel. Each protagonist’s voice is unique and sympathetic: Iverson is savvy and determined, Gemma reserved and intense, Mown charismatic and entitled. Despite their illegal intents, the story treats them with empathy, care and an understanding that they are trapped in inequitable social positions that leave them with a lethal last resort. Their mortal morals may be shady, but our protagonists have hearts of gold.
“Murder Your Employer” is a rompy tale of murder, vengeance and a very, very unique institution of higher education that I cannot recommend enough to anyone with a sense of humor and a love of mystery. Maybe read it the next time you’re stressed about an exam – at least it’s not life or death.
