Taylor Swift is back with her 12th original studio album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” which is already shaping up to be one of the albums released this year! Despite commercial success, releases like “Midnights” and “The Tortured Poets Department” — which were just as divisive as they were forgettable — have forced fans to wonder if Swift can keep up with the ever-increasing pace of pop, or if she’s nearing the end of the line.
So, has she overcome the difficulties of trying to stick to her relatable singer/songwriter persona as her net worth and stardom reach new levels of absurdity? No, not at all, actually — these issues seem more apparent than ever.
The album opens on a high note, with “The Fate of Ophelia,” “Elizabeth Taylor” and “Opalite” setting a sonic and lyrical standard that unfortunately is not carried throughout the rest of the record.
The Hamlet-inspired opener contains everything you could want from a traditional Swift ballad. With strong driving and background vocals mixed in with playful lyrics and a subtle piano that adds to the song’s storybook aesthetic, this song exhibits the strengths that have kept Swift in the mainstream.
“Elizabeth Taylor” keeps the momentum going while upping the ante production-wise, incorporating grander piano and string sections that match the more confrontational sentiment of the song. Lyrics like “Be my NY when Hollywood hates me / You’re only as hot as your last hit, baby” illustrate Swift’s ongoing struggle balancing love and fame.
Leaning into a more traditional indie-pop aesthetic on the song “Opalite,” with an airy electric guitar that does most of the legwork and lines like, “But my mama told me, ‘It’s alright / You were dancing through the lightning strikes,’” Swift crafts a danceable little hit that fits in perfectly well with the rest of her discography.
Swift gets back into her tried and true revenge bag on the track “Actually Romantic,” which is an art form she’s notoriously become a master of over the course of her career. However, if the rumors are true, reacting with such vindictive lyrics to Charli XCX’s comments about Swift worsening her insecurities comes off way more mean girl than girlboss — especially on an album that couldn’t match the worst song on “Brat” on its best day.
Sadly, the rest of the album is stinker after stinker, with muddled themes, inexcusably corny, un-self-aware lyrics and production that borders on soulless.
Tracks like “Wi$h Li$t” (dollar signs to signal she’s hip) and “CANCELLED!” are easily the most egregious of the bunch, with the first being so incredibly boring sonically that I won’t even comment on the cookie-cutter lyrics where Swift comes to the Earth-shattering realization that she desires a white picket fence and little tykes. “CANCELLED!” is so aggressively millennial and problematic that I refuse to give it another stream to make more in-depth comments.
The song “Wood” has easily the most missed potential on the record, with an opening guitar riff that is reminiscent of the Jackson 5’s 1969 classic, “I Want You Back.” Unfortunately, the inundation of references to Travis Kelce’s … wood gets progressively less cute and more uncomfortable as they roll in.
The title track, “The Life of a Showgirl”, acts as a microcosm of the entire album, having all the makings of a decent, slow-paced country/pop anthem — with satisfying vocal harmonies between Swift and featured artist Sabrina Carpenter — but never reaching a satisfying enough crescendo to justify its existence.
Will I be buying “The Life of a Showgirl” on vinyl? No, I don’t think I could sleep with that monstrosity staring at me. After all the [pl]an[e]ticipation, this album will end up lining the walls of an increasingly lackluster discography, as either Swift or her team would rather fly away from these issues than break out of the mold — either thematically or melodically. But I guess if mediocrity were this profitable for everyone, we wouldn’t try either. See you at the wedding album.
Rating: 2/5