A Shot of Yeager: It’s a Wonderful Life—at least this week

Amelie Yeager

Okay—is it just me or has this week been supremely awesome?

That gross humidity is now a torment of the past, Skillman Café has started serving the Autumn Specialty Beverages (hello Pumpkin Spice) and I was not only able to secure an upstairs study room once, but three separate times in a span of two days.

These things may not be such a big deal to other people, but you know what? Sometimes it’s the little things in life that get you going. Quit silently judging me, people. Don’t think I can’t sense your weirded-out thoughts through this impressively thin paper.

Anyway, if I haven’t yet convinced you of the magic that has taken place this past week, allow me to enlighten you on some big things you may have missed:

1) One Direction released a new song on Monday AND announced the upcoming release date of their new album (November 17), entitled “Four.” Further elaboration needed? Nope. But I’ll give one anyway for all you unfortunate peasants who have yet to hear this God-given single. It’s called “Fireproof” and I don’t want to make this a big deal or anything, but I think I may have slipped into a mild excitement-induced coma when I first listened to it. My vitals were only semi-unresponsive for like 45 minutes, okay? (Since then I’ve regained full use of my vision and hearing. Let’s not dwell on it.) Just go listen to it. You can thank me via the medium of Edible Arrangements later.

2) My mom finally brought me my Harry Potter Snuggie from home (not sure how I could’ve forgotten it), which is major because now I can brew my Polyjuice Potion in full Gryffindor garb. And no, despite what some of you may think, I didn’t have her drive all the way up to school solely to deliver this divine package. She was in the area and we had a nice little coffee date too. I’m a wonderful daughter and I regret nothing.

So now that I can resume my brewing, I plan on cloning myself either as my good friend and Lafayette legend Richard Lanzilotti ‘16, or at least one of the Quad Babies. Now if only those watchful adults would let me get close enough to swipe a few baby hairs….

3) Last and certainly not least, (not to harp on the musical scene too much), but U2 pulled a Beyoncé and released a surprise album on Tuesday. It’s entitled “Songs of Innocence” and every single record is Bono-induced perfection. But wait—there’s more. The album is FREE and you can automatically download all of it on iTunes for no charge whatsoever.

Alright, alright, let’s just stop right here. I know what you’re thinking: Amelie, how are you so musically relevant? You’re so on top of your pop culture awareness – is there any hope that I can achieve this level of coolness too? I won’t lie to you, guy…the answer is no. So keep reading and maybe you can come close one day. Until then, I’ll keep dropping my worldly wisdom (yay for alliteration) on you all. It’s a tough job, but one of us has to do it. Till next week! Yeager out.