Photo by Elisabeth Seidel for The Lafayette

With huge variety among Lafayette College’s 12 swings, there’s a swing for everyone.

Many students come to Lafayette College for the vigorous academics, the impressive athletics or the welcoming community. Others come for the swings.

Myself and a colleague, George Stackert ‘29, took it upon ourselves to name and rate every swing with a specific five-star system we created: one star for each category analyzed.

Location, lighting, squeakiness, length and smoothness of ride were the five categories we deemed most important, and after careful testing, each of Lafayette’s 12 swings has been rated accordingly.

Here is what the research reveals, from worst to best:

1. The Phantom Swing

Zero stars

This swing was nearly impossible to find. If you can track it down, it lies between Markle Hall and the Markle Parking Deck. As this swing went nearly undiscovered, it deserves zero stars for emotional distress.

2. Skillman Swing

⭐️

The swing outside of Skillman Library gets a star for length, but lacks in all other criteria; a very popular one among students for no reason whatsoever.

3. The Swing Between Marquis and Ruef

⭐️

This swing alludes the eye; the swing raters barely noticed it in the first place. But when you hear the amount of squeakiness, you’ll never miss it again.

4. Bird Swing

⭐️⭐️

This is the swing by Gilbert’s Cafe, and its seat bears a faint quote, if you really look for it. Unfortunately, the message doesn’t negate the fact that this is a two-star swing, one for the lack of squeakiness and one for the smoothness of the ride, but it still resides on a slight hill.

5. Original Swing

⭐️⭐️⭐️

The name might be misleading, but this is not, to our knowledge, the first swing installed on campus.  This is where we, the swing experts, were first introduced in front of Pardee Hall on the Quad: the swing that started it all. The rating of this swing is biased, one of the stars given for nostalgia.

6. Bench Swing

⭐️⭐️⭐️

This swing resides within the benches on the Quad. It has three stars for location, smoothness of ride and length, but nothing to write home about.

7. Parking Lot Swing

⭐️⭐️⭐️

The swing near the Markle Parking deck is in an interesting spot, but that’s the most interesting thing about it.  People tend to forget about this swing due to its distance from the others. At least, we did.

8. Tire Swing

⭐️⭐️⭐️

This swing is very unusual — it is a tire swing! The tire aspect makes this swing quirky and different; it allows directional advantages, more than just back and forth. Unfortunately, it lacks lighting and location (Zete).

9. Swing between Easton Hall and Marquis Hall

⭐️⭐️⭐️

The swing has an interesting message reading, “Like nobody is watching” written across the side.  This doesn’t distract us from the fact that it is tilted and squeals like a pig. We didn’t have a category for pig squealing, but docked the point for squeakiness.

10. The Magnum

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This swing makes up in width what it lacks in length, still earning it a point. Bring a friend and sit on the only double swing on campus!

11. Next to Magnum

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Unfortunately for this swing, it lives in the shadow of The Magnum. It has many of the same benefits, but doesn’t stand out quite as much. It’s somewhat hidden behind the nearby tree, but still earns four stars for its efforts.

12. Gabby’s Favorite Swing

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is the only swing with five stars, and it is my favorite swing, hence the name. It also happens to be the favorite swing of swing creator legend Remy Oktay ‘24 and college President Nicole Hurd.

This swing has the best location, found adjacent to Ramer History House and behind Kirby Hall of Civil Rights. It was installed with the help of a bow and arrow, according to Oktay. It is also the longest swing, giving the rider an illusion of flying. Truly a remarkable swing. No notes.