Club budgets came out this past Friday and folks, it is not pretty.
Student Government Budget Committee members were found dead, beaten to death by unhappy club executive boards.
After a thoughtful...
Director of Athletics Frida Semen has announced that Mr. Scott T. Pippin will be taking over as head coach of the men’s basketball team after former head coach Mike Jordan was fired.
Pippin, a six-time...
The President’s House has been rocked by scandal yet again as President Nicole Hurd has been exposed as an artificial intelligence bot.
The discovery came after an anonymous whistleblower in the computer...
By Ron DeSantis, Governor of Florida
• March 31, 2023
Last week, Lafayette alumni John Kirby III ‘69 donated a $420 million gift to the college. Kirby, who made his fortune manufacturing shackles for child slaves, asked that the gift go toward creating...
Tumbleweeds rolled through the Chi Phi basement last Saturday as their late-night party went entirely unattended due to the presence of a new type of strict security — a twelve-foot-tall, green bridge...
The dance and cheer teams were shut down by the athletic department last week after their tension-filled regional conflict finally came to a head with the introduction of chemical weapons.
"We are calling...
Students were left bamboozled this past Friday after the English department announced that the coveted creative writing concentration would be replaced by a new major in Wattpad™ writing. The popular...
Milo’s Place Bar has reported record-low rates of underage drinking since the establishment brought on a new employee last week.
“Now, every person entering Milo’s goes through our new bouncer,...
To the Lafayette community,
We the editorial board are pleased to announce our endorsement of unsafe sex. Condoms? Shameful. Gonnorhea? Spectacular. We hate our Oxford commas, but we hate using protection...
As the college enters a new phase of the strategic plan and continues to focus on both community building and inclusivity, President Hurd has created a plan for all administrators in Markle Hall to be...
Introducing the Student Couple Spotlight! Each week, we will be profiling an interesting couple that Yik Yak says partakes in too much PDA. This week, our subjects are Seymour Green ‘23 and a quiet girl...
Tragedy struck The Scoffayette newsroom when beloved movie columnist Kilometers Tiger ‘23 was killed by a member of the Cinematic Collective Party (CCP).
Tiger had recently been assigned a full-time...
