President Nicole Hurd has finally been exposed.
An anonymous source with intimate knowledge of the president’s most personal–and vile–habits called in last night to reveal that Hurd has been showering...
A student favorite is making its long-awaited return to College Hill: the Quad Tent.
Affectionately known as the Quent by students, this huge, white monstrosity holds a special place in the heart...
The Board of Trustees has done the impossible. The 19th amendment, granting women the right to vote, took nearly a century of protesting. The board figured out something even better within a week.
In...
Students are encouraged to grab their sunglasses and flip-flops, as Lafayette is now beach-front property after New Jersey suddenly sank into the Atlantic Ocean this past week.
Geology Professor Davy...
On Sunday, in the asbestos-filled dungeon theatre of Farinon where they found the Lindbergh baby, the Juggling Club hosted a seminar on getting girls to the loneliest group on campus: the football team.
“The...
As Covid cases decline, a new contagious disease has begun to spread rapidly on campus. The novel cheese touch, colloquially known as PARM-69, has infected a whopping number of 800 students and 40 faculty...
Following the college’s announcement that students will have to start registering all parties, the fraternity Chi Omega Kappa (COK) has become the first success story of this new policy.
“We decided...
After years of cranky newspaper commies giving them shit, the College Republicans and all 12 Greek life presidents have joined forces in demanding The Lafayette cease asking for interviews. In an open...
A couple going for a walk in the Minnesota Big Woods this week came across former President Alison Byerly on a private campground site with a fire fueled by paychecks meant for dining hall employees.
When...
This past week, President Nicole Hurd stood in front of the college and sheepishly muttered a confession: one of the two buildings known as Oeschsle is a simulation.
Barely able to look at the audience,...
After a record low number of balloon arches in the common area of Farinon during this academic year, the administration has acted in collaboration with the Board of Trustees to begin the college’s Five-Year...
A name change is coming to College Hill this fall. Is Lafayette finally going to forsake the genocidal namesake of its primary road? Will Fisher East and West be properly renamed Fisher North and South...
