Mike’d Up: A disaster of a World Cup location and how much worse can the Browns get?

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Michael Kowaleski

The decision to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar is now coming under major criticism.

Kelley: Fun fact: summer months in Qatar bring heat waves up to 122 degrees. So in what state of mind would FIFA decide to award the 2022 World Cup to such a scorcher of a city?

Well, apparently one corrupted by political influence. FIFA president Sepp Blatter said that “there was definitely direct political influence” from European leaders who recommended its voting members to opt for Qatar because of the major economic interests there.

Shall we pray now that this gets rescheduled? Temperatures that high would have detrimental health effects on players and fans as well as the quality of soccer. Blatter said “you can’t cool down the whole country.” Thank you, Sepp. I for one was honestly expecting you to have this brilliant master plan in mind to “cool down” the entire country.

Politics have infested life as we once knew. There is a method to the madness behind all major decisions and now soccer will suffer in the 2022 World Cup unless it is rescheduled, a decision that could come on October 3.

 

Kowaleski: Mike, we’re missing the big story here: global warming.

How else do you explain 122-degree heat waves in Qatar? It’s not like the country, you know…consists of mostly sand deserts or something. That would just be poor planning on the part of FIFA. Imagine sprinting in temperatures that average 106 degrees during June and July. No wonder this decision is taking some heat.

Hold the phone, our managing editor is telling us that they’re building robotic clouds to block out the sun. You read that right: Robot. Clouds. I Googled it. It exists. Check Geek.com if you don’t believe me. I’ll wait.

Crazy, right?? It’ll have solar engines and float over the stadium, maneuvered via remote control.

Qatar can apparently afford this because they’re filthy rich due to massive amounts of oil and natural gas. I’m sure that had no bearing on the decision to hold the World Cup during the summer, in the desert.

 

The Browns traded the 2012 No. 3 overall pick Trent Richardson to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2014 first-round selection on Wednesday. The Mike’d UP guys discuss how the Browns can f*&$ up even more.

Kelley: Ahhh, the good old Cleveland Browns. Whenever you need a good laugh, go Google search the Browns and catch up on their team activity – never disappointing. This time though is the best. Trading a franchise running back for a future first round pick? Classic Browns. I understand he was banged up and has not lived up to potential thus far, but regardless, the trade is mind-blowing. Who am I to tell what the Browns what to do though? It seems they have it all figured out.

Soon, they’ll:

–Trade Joe Haden. Yes, he is your star cornerback and an absolute beast. But think of the draft picks you could acquire if you traded him!? Man, we’re talking maybe a first rounder but possibly a package of a second and third round pick? If the team is feeling real generous, maybe throw in a sixth round pick too?

–Sign Brandon Weeden to a 15-year guaranteed max contract. Remember what the Islanders did with Rick DiPietro, that god-awful goalie who was constantly injured? It would be a similar situation. How about we reward the guy currently sitting out with a sprained thumb with a 15-year contract? He would be a lifelong Brown and be able to provide that old man wisdom by the end. I’m sold. Let’s put the pen to paper, Cleveland.

 

Kowaleski: Adding to the “God Hates Cleveland” trope that Bill Simmons loves to reference, head coach Rob Chudzinski said something about how Richardson didn’t fit in with the offense which makes zero sense. You can always use a talented player like Trent Richardson, who immediately makes the Colts a much more balanced team than they were before. Here’s ways that I think the Browns continue to test Cleveland’s patience.

–Using the first-round selection to take Johnny “Football” Manziel instead of Teddy Bridgewater, a mistake only the Browns would make. Manziel would fall into the Brady Quinn/Colt McCoy category of hyped college quarterbacks who would be drafted by the Browns and fall into the post-Heisman funk.

–Fire Ray Horton. The defensive coordinator has the Browns’ D looking like the best unit on the team. If they weren’t on the field for 80% of the game, they would be a fairly successful team. Firing Ray Horton because he complimented LeBron James or something would be a total Cleveland move.