For those of you unaware, the Big Game is tomorrow at Yankee Stadium. Yes, yes. Very exciting. And another quick message for those of you unaware of this event, did you just come out of a coma? Where have you been for the past two semesters?

Alright, moving on. For those of you attending the game, there may be questions and concerns about the rules and regulations of Yankee Stadium. No, this isn’t just plain old Fisher where pretty much anything goes. It turns out the operators of YS are actually kind of hardos. Who knew? While searching the stadium website, here are a few policies that caught my attention:

“Bag Policy”

“Each Guest is welcome to bring one bag into Yankee Stadium provided the bag is soft-sided (e.g., diaper bags or small purses)…”

So, what I’m getting from this is that A: I have been living in the dark my entire life and did not know bags could be either “soft-sided” or “hard-sided,” — what would a “hard-sided” bag even look like? Would heavy-duty locks and chains be involved? Have you taught me nothing, Fashion Police? — and B: those of you who indulge in a nice diaper every now and then are good to go — they may actually be very useful on game-day. In fact, for some of you, I highly recommend it.

“Banners and Signs”

“Banners and signs are permitted provided they are baseball-related, in good taste, not of a commercial nature and not supported by wood, metal or other materials that could be injurious in a crowded public setting.”

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that in this case, it’s probably a good idea if your banner/sign is not related to the sport of baseball…unless you want to be really unique and have your sign stand out from all the rest. In that case, by all means go for it. Be an individual! Carpe diem, and all that.

“Bottles and Cans”

“No cans, thermoses or glass or aluminum bottles are permitted in Yankee Stadium. Unopened soft-sided single-serve containers (e.g., small milk cartons or juice boxes)… and clear factory-sealed plastic water bottles 1 liter in size or smaller are permitted.”

I know how much you guys value your juice boxes, so thank God those bad boys will be allowed in. And the milk cartons? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could survive this thing if I couldn’t break out a nice and refreshing milk carton to quench my thirst during this adrenaline-filled game. I mean, take my eyes, but not the milk. #Relief.

“Cameras and Video Equipment”

“Single-framed flash photography is permitted as are extended-length zoom lenses provided they do not interfere with the game or event or other guests’ enjoyment of the game or event…”

So yes, ladies, all your worries are appeased—selfies will be allowed, but unfortunately those “selfie sticks,” or whatever it is they call those long poles that cause absolutely no added attention or hatred of you when you take your selfie, will most likely be prohibited. Looks like just plain old photography and “basic” selfies will have to suffice. I know, I know. Just when you’d finally reached “non-basic” status. My condolences.

While I know that this has been incredibly insightful and informative, there are several more rules and regulations I recommend you brush up on to know your stuff come game day. Like I did, I recommend you do extensive amounts of research—take out library books, get out your magnifying glasses, and really dive into the fine print. Or just Google “Yankee Stadium Regulations” and I’m sure you’d be able to find something. Whatever works. Yeager out, and beat Lehigh.