For the single girl, Valentine’s Day is no longer accompanied by innocent sentiments of the second grade; heart cutouts made of doilies and red construction paper, Sweetheart candies, or a love note from the boy sitting behind you during Spelling. Instead, it is a black day filled with cynicism, self-pity, and the urge to bitch-slap young love in the face.
And who can blame us? We’re all alone on a day that is meant to celebrate those people who happened to find each other among all the crap that’s out there. During this season of teddy bears and boxes blessed by Lady Godiva, you’ll often hear us single ladies saying things like: “I just don’t have the time to think about love right now…” “Valentine’s Day is for saps who are easily manipulated by marketing strategies…” or “What are my plans for Valentine’s Day? My single girlfriends and I are gonna watch He’s Just Not That Into You and throw back Cosmopolitans…”
Yes, we all know that Valentine’s Day is mostly a commercial conspiracy and that we probably shouldn’t care as much as we do, but the fact of the matter is: everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants companionship.
What is often misconstrued is that Valentine’s Day was only really limited to courtly and romantic love in some distant era of poetry, but it’s 2014, ladies, and it’s about time you start figuring out what this day will mean to you. Instead of focusing on what you do not have (Ryan Gosling), focus on what you do. Who brings love into your life right now? Your friends, your parents, your grandparents, your ten cats? Valentine’s Day can be dedicated to these individuals. Or it can be a 24-hour long ode to yourself; I suggest splurging on online shopping.
Many of us choose to be single. Because let’s face it, with about 51% of the student population being male around 17-22 years of age – their hormonal peaks – I’m sure that if we really wanted that kind of attention, we could get it. Let’s not forget however, how powerful and liberating being a single woman is on this campus.
For instance, we never have to report to anyone. We can go out on a Friday night looking stunning (and slightly slutty) without having anyone telling us to cover up. We have an unlimited amount sexual power at our disposal. We don’t have to worry about anyone cheating on us. We can have girl’s nights out every night of the week. We can wear our granny panties proud. We don’t have to shave as often. We can get into parties without leaving our significant other out. We can spend hours trying to find parallels between our lives and the lives of the characters of Sex and the City and GIRLS.
We can focus on other things that concern our bright futures. Who needs a boyfriend when you can have a killer internship?
Basically, ladies, we can do whatever the hell we want.
So whether you decide to spend the day with your one true love, Russell Stover or you intend to find your Romeo at a party tonight, make sure you have fun. Ignore the comments your guy friends make about chronic masturbation and leave the wallowing behind. After all, your feminine power can only be limited by you.