Lafayette College was recently featured in the New York Times. Two of our academic elite made headlines for contributing to a “Bold Drug Enterprise at Affluent Pennsylvania Schools.” I for one am outraged that Lafayette students were implicated in such crimes. After paying $60,000 a year to develop critical thinking, quantitative reasoning and the capacity for creative endeavors, our students should be smart enough not to get caught.

Allowing yourself to get tossed by the judicial system is simply inexcusable. Looking over the police report, I found several avoidable mistakes. First, they should’ve known that the police were getting close and should’ve “taken care” of any and all physical evidence. How hard could it have been to shove some pot up the butt in a moment of desperation? It was only 33.56 grams. He could’ve just swallowed the whole thing. The second misstep was cooperation with the investigation. They sat there like sitting leopards and waited for the cops to break down their doors with the battering ram. Using the escape tunnels under Pardee was easily the best option. They should’ve gone 0 to 60 in about three seconds. They didn’t even have the criminal acumen to plead the fifth a couple dozen times. It is every intelligent felon’s go to move. All the good ones stay silent.

The third point I would argue is if you’re not going to run, at least induce a full-blown police standoff. How cool would it have been, to see two cops and German Shepherd set to lay siege on a dorm? That would’ve had the campus buzzing more than the spring concert.

In short, missed opportunity, guys.