On Tuesday, Lafayette announced the hiring of Michael “Mike” Jordan as the new Men’s Basketball coach. A few hours later, they retracted their offer upon realizing they had hired the Colgate University Assistant Coach rather than the six-time NBA champion.

“We honestly had no idea,” Athletics Director Sherryta Freeman explained. “When we heard that Michael Jordan wanted to interview to replace Coach O’Hanlon, we were too excited to do a background check. He’s Michael Jordan! His name speaks for itself.”

“I was so excited to get to play under the GOAT. I was surprised he would leave his position as owner of the Charlotte Hornets to come to Lafayette, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth,” said junior center Kneel Queen.

Freeman added, “I had the sense that something was wrong when he showed up and wasn’t 6’6.” 

“Honestly, this is probably the biggest hiring snafu since we hired a man named Chris Brown to Dining Services and it turned out he wasn’t the R&B artist,” President Nicole Hurd said.

Michael Jordan, the NBA player, did not respond to request for comment. 

Editor’s note: This is a satire article featured as part of our annual Scoffayette issue.