Editor’s note: Before there was The Scoffayette, there was a satirical newspaper published during the first week of the spring semester. A feature of the 1970s version was a column that pitted Lafayette football against the best in the country — and always found a way to have the Leopards come out on top. This year’s revival of the column is brought to you by Jim Simos ’76.
I would like to present some hard, cold facts regarding the 2023 college football season.
On October 21, Lafayette College went 243 miles on the road to Worcester, Massachusetts and defeated Holy Cross by 38-35 (three points).
On November 11, Army West Point defeated Holy Cross at home by 17-14 (three points).
(NOTE: Assuming a normal three-point home-field advantage, these scores imply that, if Lafayette were to play Army West Point on a neutral field, Lafayette would win by six points, but for the sake of this discussion, let’s just give Army West Point the benefit of the doubt and assume that Lafayette and Army West Point are equal.)
On November 4, Army West Point went 1,851 miles on the road (and 7,000 feet above sea level) to defeat the Air Force Academy by 23-3 (20 points) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play the Air Force Academy, Lafayette would have won by 20 points.
On September 15, the Air Force Academy defeated Utah State at home by 39-21 (18 points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Utah State, Lafayette would have won by 38 points.
On September 30, Utah State went 2,293 miles on the road to Storrs, CT and defeated UConn by 34-33 (one point). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play UConn, Lafayette would have won by 39 points.
On November 25, UConn went 75 miles on the road to Amherst, MA and defeated UMass by 31-18 (13 points) Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play UMass, Lafayette would have won by 52 points.
On August 26, UMass went 2,292 miles on the road to Las Cruces, NM and defeated New Mexico State University by 41-30 (11 points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play NMSU, Lafayette would have won by 63 points.
On November 18, NMSU went 1,378 miles on the road to Auburn, AL and defeated Auburn by 31-10 (21 points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Auburn, Lafayette would have one by 84 points.
On November 25, Alabama went 185 miles on the road to Auburn, AL and defeated Auburn on a last second touchdown pass by a score of 27-24 (three points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Alabama, Lafayette would have won by 81 points.
On December 2, Alabama went 201 miles on the road to Atlanta, GA and defeated Georgia in the SEC Championship Game by 27-24 (three points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Georgia, Lafayette would have won by 84 points.
On January 1, in the Rose Bowl, Michigan defeated Alabama, 27-20 in overtime (seven points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Michigan, Lafayette would have won by 77 points and would have gone on to the national championship.
On January 8, in Houston, TX, Michigan defeated Washington by 34-13 (19 points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Washington, Lafayette would have won by 96 points. Also on January 1, Washington defeated Texas in the Sugar Bowl by 37-31 (six points). Therefore, if Lafayette had the chance to play Texas, Lafayette would have won by 102 points.
If this doesn’t make a case for expanding the four-team playoff, I don’t know what does.
