For too long, Lafayette has been acting like they are our mommies and daddies. Monitoring us, searching our rooms, making us eat their meals. It must end.

The Editorial Staff needs your help to make Lafayette stop acting like our parents. Please, subscribe to The Lafayette by sending a note to the address down below. Every time we get a subscription we will show the police. Send $40 in cash with your subscription so we know you’re serious though.

The Lafayette Newspaper

Box 8675309 Lafayette College

Easton, PA 90210

By Special K ‘007

Editor’s note: This is a satire article featured as part of our annual April Fools’ Scoffayette issue.