Everything Wrong With US Media Coverage

The Scoffayette

Everything Wrong With US Media Coverage

The Scoffayette

Everything Wrong With US Media Coverage

The Scoffayette

New photos reveal The Lafayette’s extravagant spending

New+photos+reveal+The+Lafayette%E2%80%99s+extravagant+spending

Caviar and lobster necessary to reduce spelling errors, editor-in-chief says

By Thurti Pointz

El Jefe

Two of the photos discovered in The Lafayette’s photo album demonstrating extravagant spending. [Graphic by Bunny Lebowski ‘72 ]
Two of the photos discovered in The Lafayette’s photo album demonstrating extravagant spending. [Graphic by Bunny Lebowski ‘72]
Claims by The Lafayette that the paper is bankrupt shattered by a staff photo album discovered in a trash can outside of the student government office.

The photos from the album, showing staff members partying with the board of trustees on yacht named Oechsle’s Fortune, were found under a stack of empty pizza boxes and grey goose bottles.

“The smell of the salt air and the breeze in the Bahamas is crucialto foster creativity in editorial meetings,” Editor-in-Chief of The Lafayette William Gordon ‘17 said, after first confusing it with the time they wentsnorkeling off the coast of Maui.

With budget week coming up, the discovery of their extravagant spending comes at an unfortunate time for the newspaper.

Gordon expressed concern about the future of the paper. He then recited a quote about why the free press is essential to a college campus from a stack of flashcards he carries around in his pocket.

Anticipating the budget battles,the newspaper has cut costs through a series of layoffs and outsourcing much of the work to India.

“We’ve cut our costs to bare-bones expenses,” Managing Editor Aaron Levenson ‘15 said, presenting a budget proposal includingpens, printing and $6,450 for “weekly entertainment” on production nights. Levenson declined to comment further, but emphasized that the addition of the new pole in the newsroom was for structural reasons only.

Suspicious of the costs of the newspaper, student government announced they will schedule an open forum to see if students would rather fund the newspaper or have Kanye West perform at the spring concert in 2016.

Photos also pictured staff members funneling mimosasin what appeared to be the interior of a private jet. Levenson said he has no recollection of this.

“The only funneling I remember is money into our Cayman Islands accounts,” he said. “But now that money is gone.”

The paper’s financial troubles began after a former staff member lost all the money in a blackjack tournament on the staff’s bimonthly visit to Vegas.

But The Lafayette does have allies in the college community. A wealthy alumnus offered to buy the paper, as long as the newspaper met certain conditions.

“I think the ‘Kirby Chronicle’ has a nice ring to it,” said the alumnus, who requested to remain anonymous.

 

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