The Oldest College Newspaper in Pennsylvania

The Lafayette

The Oldest College Newspaper in Pennsylvania

The Lafayette

The Oldest College Newspaper in Pennsylvania

The Lafayette

Pennsylvania on the path to legalize medical marijuana, Local farm and football team in high spirits

When members of an off-campus local farm heard the news about the potential for Pennsylvania to legalize medicinal marijuana, they put on their tye-die t-shirts, picked up their shovels and got to work.

The farm teamed up with anonymous NFL players to grow product to support the team’s “medical needs.”

“It’s a joint operation,” said Director of Medicinal Herbs Mary Jane Potter.

Perhaps the farm has the NFL to thank for their sudden boost in popularity and business. Recently NFL players have professed the power of marijuana in treating post-concussion symptoms.

Because the farm is local, students have been benefited from its growth, as well.

“After my third concussion, I knew that all of the remedies I was using to try to recover were pointless,” Rowland A. Joynt ‘19 said. “That’s when I was told about the farm’s new project, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m in better spirits now than when I was healthy.”

But the football players aren’t the only ones excited about the plans.

“We were so excited about the potential opportunities for growing hemp right here near campus,” said a student, who requested to remain anonymous. “I can finally throw out all my heat lamps.”

According to Potter, the new product only strengthens the organic farm’s commit to zero waste, where the farm grows produce for the restaurants then recycles nutrients from leftover food back into the soil to grow weed to be smoked before eating the produce in the restaurants.

“I’ve never really thought of myself as a football player, but now I could see myself throwing a few home runs,” Marty Blunt ‘17 said, before raising the volume on his Led Zeppelin record to 11.

Coach Herb seems to not have worries about playing on grass next season.

“Whatever makes you happy, man,” he said while stashing a stack of white paper into his filing cabinet.

“We’re looking at bowl play next year,” added Herb, who said he expects the team to play at the Reefer Bowl this season. “We won’t get smoked by the competition.”

The Scoffayette also reached out to a couple team members over phone, but unfortunately reporters couldn’t make out any words due to the sound of crumpling Doritos bags in the background.


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