Varsity teams to hold Zoom practices


Due to the coronavirus ending the athletic season, many teams are forced to continue their practices over Zoom, a video chat application. The decision was announced by Patriot League President Duncan Schute.

“We hold out athletes to the highest standards,” Schute said. “They will need to elevate their game quarantine or no quarantine.”

Baseball teams have begun online practices, and it’s shown to be working well so far.

“We held practices the other day,” baseball coach Karl Bat said. “We had our pitcher throw on one end and all of our batters swing on the other.”

Not all the players are ecstatic about the new way of practicing.

“I spent two consecutive hours hunched down in my stance,” said catcher Jon Buckett. “Now I can’t move my knees.”

If practices continue to go well, Schute left open the possibility for virtual games.

“We could hold an entire season from all of our backyards,” he said. “It will take some coordination on all of our parts, but I’m optimistic.”

The Leopards’ first tournament in this scenario would be next Saturday against three schools from the Mid-Atlantic region, now officially sponsored by Clorox. 

Editor’s note: This is a satire article featured as part of our annual April Fools’ Scoffayette issue.