Hurd says all administrators to be named Nicole by 2026


Photo by SEX GOD for The Lafayette

Nicole Hurd with her Nicole Herd.

As the college enters a new phase of the strategic plan and continues to focus on both community building and inclusivity, President Hurd has created a plan for all administrators in Markle Hall to be named “Nicole” by 2026.

“As we head towards our bicentennial, it feels like a good time to create a plan that ensures alignment,” Hurd said.

Students, faculty and staff all welcomed Nicole Eramo to the Lafayette community in February as the president’s chief of staff.

“I am so pleased with Nicole’s early months on campus,” Hurd said. “It feels like a good time to welcome more ‘Nicoles’ on board.”

In addition to recruiting more “Nicoles” to Markle, Hurd is also encouraging the Enrollment Management Division to look at increasing the number of Nicoles in the applicant pool.

“It is time to be bold and brave,” Hurd said. “It is also time to find ways to be bound to one another, such as with a common name.”

The Lafayette has also unearthed plans for the new Nicoles to focus on bringing other “Nicole-named talent” to campus, such as offering Nicole Kidman a role as a visiting professor of theater and introducing a new lecture series by award-winning journalist Nikole Hannah-Jones, which will require a waiver given her name is spelled with a “k” opposed to a “c.”

Editor’s note: This is a satire article featured as part of our annual Scoffayette issue.